So I decided to start a blog. Had one before, but didn't stick to it very well. I am hoping this will be different.
A little about me: 31 (soon to be 32), single black female, living for Jesus, fun-loving, kid at heart, filled with random knowledge (both useful and pretty useless). I started this blog mainly because I have seen women I know and love go through such hard times with the opposite sex. This blog is not to dog them or air dirty laundry (if anyone's funky socks will be aired, it will most likely be mine). I want to be an encouragement. I'm not perfect, but for some reason God has blessed me with a peace about singleness that I want others to share. (I will also throw in randomness from my mind to make this blog a mixture of entertainment and seriousness)
Growing up, I never was the girl that guys dated. I was the buddy and I LOVED it! But once I got to college, I made up my mind that I wanted that to be different. I had it set in my mind that I was going to date around and enjoy myself. Well, God had other plans because I was still the "buddy" to guys. I was really frustrated and having convos with my sister from another mother in our dorm rooms (when we should have been doing work, instead of eating and watching Clueless). Soon after, my actual sister called me and told me about a book called "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" (WAIT! for those of you who don't subscribe to this book, please don't turn away!). It rocked my world! I never thought about boundaries outside of sexual activities nor had I thought about the screwed up way most people date. Now, I am not opposed to dating (with proper intentions and boundaries and TONS of Jesus and counsel from Jesus people), but at the time, I went the extreme and decided it wasn't for me.
God then took me on an AMAZING journey of self-discovery. For about a year or so, I told Him that I didn't want to have any romantic interests or experiences. I totally dedicated my time and affection to the Lord. It was beautiful! He got me to a point where marriage was Isaac and I was Abraham (Check out Genesis 22: God tells Abraham to sacrifice the son He promised him, Isaac.). I became at peace with not ever being married, if that was God's will! How insane was that? At the time, I wanted a family, but I was willing to give that up if I had to - sacrifice my dream of marrying Kobe Bryant (or Maxwell) for a life dedicated to Christ (Like Abraham was willing to sacrifice Isaac as God instructed). It was settled in my heart - a sense of contentment.
The story doesn't end there. After that period of not being interested in anyone and having no desire to be, my eyes were opened to a young chocolate thing with a very sincere relationship with God. I was caught off guard and enamored. After crushing on him for a bit (i.e. 2 years), I got myself together. I began to ask the Lord why He would allow me to like this dude after the pact we made about staying away from boyfriends. I believe the Lord began to reveal to me that He opened up my heart so that I could be ready for marriage (as I type this, I am thinking......now, what if I leave this earth without ever marrying....ha!). As you could guess, I didn't marry the chocolate honey. However, I was getting to a place where that desire to be married was resurfacing in a Godly way. I wasn't feeling desparate or pressured. I just embraced that desire and prayed "Not my will, but thy will be done".
So, here I am about 6 or 7 years later, with several hiccups on the journey (we'll talk more detail in later posts). I can't explain the process. I don't know how He was able to bring me to a place contentment! And since then, my dreams of having a family have grown larger. I want to have a house full of adopted and foster children so they can experience a loving Christ-centered home with 2 devoted parents. Can't say that I have the perfect solution that will work for everybody. Its truly a journey that you have to be willing to walk with Christ leading the way.
I pray that as we go along, we will be able to laugh, encourage, share insight, and wait together. I know that I have not dealt with similar circumstances as others that could possibly make it harder to be content as a single person. But I hope that something written will help you to wait a little longer, trust a little more, draw a little closer, and, man, enjoy life! Singleness is not just some holding pattern where we are waiting for the control tower to call us in for the "marriage landing" so life can begin. It is life! A great life! Live it to the fullest. Let's take advantage of this time so that God can use us to change someone else's world. Let's remove the expectations of the world and our unrealistic timetables. Let's tell the enemy that we know that our God is faithful and that his tricks and lies won't cause us to let go of His promise. Know that He will never ask us to wait or give something up without giving us something greater!
Smooches, Beauties!!!
